Blabby, Flabby Prose and Other Hazards of Using AI’s Help On Your Essays
YOU DON’T NEED TO SUCK. ChatGPT CAN DO IT FOR YOU.
It goes without saying there are countless ways AI has and will continue to improve our lives. But if it’s crossed your mind that maybe one of the AI options out there might improve your Executive MBA application essays, you might want to consider at least four good reasons not to use it.
I offer this advice based on my own “research” which was motivated by a couple articles I had read about how the exploding use of AI tools to concoct everything from love notes to term papers might impact the admissions process of institutions of higher learning. Having been in the biz of admissions, the topic piqued my interest. Moreover, I was curious whether tools like AI might spell the death of services like mine (I doubt it and maybe this blog post will help you understand why).
As an experiential learner, I decided to take my own joy ride on ChatGPT, the most popular AI tool as of this writing. Interestingly enough and as a quick prologue to my comments below, OpenAI, the creator of ChatGPT, freely acknowledges that ChatGPT (and indeed, any AI tool) is limited. Front and center on OpenAI’s search homepage are the following disclaimers (no doubt insisted upon by OpenAI general counsel because lawsuits are such a hassle):
“May occasionally generate incorrect information”
“May occasionally produce harmful instructions or biased content”
I kept this in mind as I commenced my own experiment, feeding into ChatGPT’s maw an essay question found frequently in EMBA applications to see what it might spit out.
“How will an Executive MBA degree from <insert school/program name here> contribute to the attainment of my career objectives and aspirations?”
As you may know, ChatGPT isn’t designed to respond to questions of this nature—the personal kind that include words like “my,” as in “Where did I leave my keys?” or situational questions like “What’s that smell?” Even so, ChatGPT gave it the ol’ college try (pun intended) and regurgitated a bunch of predictable content about the benefits of an EMBA, pulled from a number of different sources, some of which I had actually read.
What struck me, however, was the final sentence which (I believe) proficiently illustrated the shortcomings of ChatGPT outlined in OpenAI’s original disclaimers:
“In summary, using AI in your Executive MBA essay is not inherently wrong, but it should be approached with careful consideration…”
Not to get all moralistic/judgy, but I think ChatGPT’s response here was both wrong and biased. Which brings me to the first of four good reasons not to use an AI tool on your EMBA application.
THE FOUR GOOD REASONS
REASON #1: IT’S WRONG—LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY
Let’s start with “literally.” OpenAI already told you it might generate incorrect information. If you want to ignore the disclaimer and take the chance that ChatGPT might be wrong about whatever you ask it, just remember: the house always wins. If you’re apathetic enough to use ChatGPT on something as important as your business school application in the first place (despite having read OpenAI’s disclaimers), you’re probably not gonna care if the application you just submitted is littered with prosaic garbage.
And now for “figuratively.” I don’t want to dive into the philosophical technicalities of the difference between “inherently wrong” and plain old “wrong” (because Nietzsche already did) but for the purposes of this discussion, let me pose this heady question: Is it inherently wrong to pass off material as yours when you didn’t create it? Because that’s basically what you’re doing when you use AI. (Remember, the “A” in AI doesn’t stand for “authentic;” it stands for “artificial,” as in, not genuine. Other synonyms found in Merriam Webster for “artificial” include “phony,” “sham,” and “fake.”)
It shouldn’t be that hard but in case you’re not clear, the answer is YES. Yes, it would be inherently wrong to submit an application that’s not 100% your work. There’s a reason educational institutions have honor codes.
INTERESTING ASIDE: AI USE IN BUSINESS SCHOOL
In his excellent article, “Alien Minds, Immaculate Bullshit, Outstanding Questions” (Pennsylvania Gazette, April 2023), author Trey Popp reported on a Wharton professor, Eric Orts, who teaches in the school’s Legal Studies and Business Ethics Department. Early in the article, Orts is quoted as describing AI tools as “sophisticated plagiarism machines.” (Hat tip, Professor Orts. I laughed out loud at that one. I may have to borrow it but don’t worry—I’ll cite you.)
Even so, he experimented with ChatGPT in an MBA course and found that in some cases, its use actually “tended to lead students toward bad grades—in the form of “deadening” prose—all on its own.” In other words, students didn’t even need to suck because ChatGPT could do it for them. Although he acknowledged the potential value of AI, it’s clear Professor Orts isn’t a big fan (at least for now) saying,“…in general, I was not impressed by the answers I got from students using it.”
REASON #2: BLABBY, FLABBY WRITING
ChatGPT (and other AI tools) are particularly bad at “storytelling,” the very thing that Executive MBA programs encourage you to employ everywhere in your application. Even in situations where AI scientists have finessed prompts to increase the likelihood of coherent, engaging responses, ChatGPT still chokes. By and large, the prose generated by ChatGPT can easily and quickly induce napping, headaches, and bleeding eyeballs (in other words, it’s deadening).
Karen Rile, an instructor in fiction writing at Penn, was also quoted in Popp’s article, and not to put too fine a point on it, this is what she had to say:
“What I value in writing is specificity, sharpness, clarity—and it (AI) fails on every level…”
Also not a ringing endorsement.
REASON #3: AUTHENTICITY MAKES ChatGPT NERVOUS
Most admissions committees stress—and many times, emphasize it above all other qualities—that you be authentic in your essay responses.
Unfortunately, if ChatGPT senses that the question you ask is even remotely personal (and thus, authentic), it will respond with its own version of the creepy apology offered by Hal 9000 (an AI character) in 2001: A Space Odyssey, “I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
When asked whether I had what it took to make it on Broadway, ChatGPT actually apologized (just like Hal) and explained it didn’t have access to my personal information or knowledge about my circumstances, so couldn’t help me. But don’t forget, even if ChatGPT could’ve responded to questions requiring personal (authentic) information or knowledge, it wouldn’t do so with any specificity, sharpness, or clarity.
SIDE NOTE: If your writing is authentically blabby and flabby, think about taking a quick business writing course prior to applying to business school or work with an application coach. (I know a really good one if you need a recommendation.) Nothing makes an admissions committee reject an application more quickly than having to suffer through formulaic, cliché-filled writing.
So to summarize Reasons #2 and #3, if you use ChatGPT to create or enhance your essays, you run the risk of producing something that will be painful to read. I'm gonna go out on a limb and suggest that the last people upon whom you’d want to inflict mental torture would be members of the admissions committee. Just a suggestion.
REASON #4: THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE—YOUR HONOR
The fundamental question of whether to use ChatGPT or some equally lackluster essay manufacturer doesn’t have to do with what the chatbot can or cannot do. It has everything to do with you.
Let’s say you use ChatGPT to produce a perfectly anodyne snoozer of an essay, and by some miracle (woo hoo!), you actually get admitted to your dream program. (And to think some know-it-all applications/admissions coach tried to discourage you from using AI. Sucker.) I promise the shine will start to fade once you meet your seriously kick-ass classmates. Never fails that, in most programs, after the first class, even the most capable students leave terrified, wondering whether their admission was a mistake, and whether they really deserve to be there.
The unease and wondering lasts about a month until everyone’s brilliance starts to sparkle. But that won’t be the case for you. You’ll always wonder whether you really deserved to be there because you were basically admitted under false pretenses. And what if you really don’t deserve to be there? Good luck hiding that.
If you want to go through two years of school constantly questioning and doubting yourself, worried the truth might be revealed, knock yourself out. But just know your EMBA program will be challenging enough without having to haul around the enormous emotional burden of uncertainty you’ve created for yourself.
So, the final reason for not using ChatGPT for your essays is that it’s not worth the mental anguish or the repercussions you’d be treated to if your lapse of judgement were uncovered. (Remember: schools have honor codes.)
ChatGPT AT ITS BEST
I’ll admit, I was fascinated by ChatGPT and its capabilities, and following my “research,” jumped right back down into that rabbit hole with questions like the universally pondered, “Why do fools fall in love?” ChatGPT’s answer was arguably accurate and delightfully thorough—no need for the disclaimer here:
“People fall in love for various reasons, including physical attraction, shared interests, emotional connection, and the desire for companionship. Love can be both a wonderful and a bewildering experience,** and it often defies rational understanding. That's why it's often described as something that can happen to ‘fools’ or anyone, regardless of their level of wisdom or prudence.”
As for his own adventures with ChatGPT, Popp (the author of the Penn Gazette article) had this to say: “ChatGPT’s output seemed most interesting precisely when it was least useful.” I couldn’t agree more.
** Not sure how ChatGPT would know but whatever.